What would you do if someone looked at you and said… “If I was in your shoes I couldn’t make it, I might be thinking about killing myself.” Comments like this bounce right off… but stumbling over my thoughts made me mad…How are you supposed to respond?!
What words could I say in that moment or instance? Words that would show someone that my life as well as others like me, are not to be pity’d… That we do have happiness in our lives. Struggle with basic-common issues like anyone else. Flourish and shine just as bright as any bulb in the box. Fully… partially… or differently abled, our lives are worth living.
Do I have my days when I am down… Where I ask God, “why HE chose me?”… “I always worked on being a good person, and servant to You… so why was I given this type of cross to bear?” Oh, with out a doubt I do and still do at times.
You may view me, us, as being plagued with pain and limitations. You may even view yourself as being plagued with pain, financial instability, loneliness, constant doubt in your decisions, failure, or addiction. The next leg in this race we call life so far out of sight and your energy is depleted, you just want to quit. Either drown in the bin of people that hit the sidelines and give in to the enemy’s whispers, or… quit and end it all.
You run this race with your legs and arms… I run only with my arms… so if I refuse to park on the sidelines or roll off the edge… My question is, why you can’t refuse to do the same? Have you forgotten this verse…?
“Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.”
My answer to this individual was… “ I’m sure you could be happy in my situation… because we both are blessed with friends and family that we built from scratch. People we allowed to enter and help shape our lives. We both can create and recall moments of laughter, growth, and accomplishment. No matter how big or small each of those are.
Don’t pity, this wheelchair lead me to you… I’m living my best life… thru the pain, sweat, and frustration that comes with being at this portion of HIS plan. Staying passionate with determination to push through. Make you see what happens when the burden is too heavy to bare alone. Make you see just how much weight HE helps me with.
If I ever reached the point beyond just my weak mind and truly felt this is too much, I would look up and ask for it all to be taken. I ask for the pressure and more responsibilities. Just as coal under pressure turns to a diamond, you and I pressured turn in to something far greater. Diamonds have to be cut to hold value… you and I are shaped by our Father to be a blessing that actually grows in value as the years pass.
If I ever got to a point when I felt no one cared about me… I would go out and befriend new people that would… and most importantly, remember your Father cares… and would not let you go alone. They are right under your nose, you just have to stop smelling yourself long enough to catch a whiff of them. They are right in front of your eyes, you just have to take the blinders of self pity off long enough to see them. Touch HIS grace… I did… and while I use this chair for my physical body… all my spiritual limbs have regained all feelings.”
Today family, take steps to restore your spiritual limbs…